Dreams Delight

©Where Was I Going?

(A cathartic dialogue)

Where were you going before all this started? I wanted to show the world something.

What did you want to show the world? I wanted to show the world that it is loved.

How can you know that the world is loved and who is it loved by? I know that the world is loved as I knew how to eat when my mother’s breast was near. The world is loved by “I am” which is subject to any appropriate cultural definition meeting the criteria of the “benefactor” of origin.

While this knowing is with us all at birth, we forget it as events heap pain upon us and influence our thinking and behavior. Of course our thought and behavior then draw to us that which we envision and display — as we look to the side of the road, so the car steers.

What can you offer to change this thinking and behavior? I have the gift that is like a mirror, which I can hold in front of those that have forgotten. I use a process containing reasoning which assists in recalling that which is known and has been forgotten.

Why does your means of showing the world that it is loved, work? It only works because what I say is already known. Therefore, when it is recalled, it is clearly recognized as a fact.

What is preventing you now from showing the world that it is loved? Currently, I feel as Franz Kaufka may have felt working as a public servant while attempting to write. Differing from the ambiguity of purpose for Kaufka’s protagonist, Gregor, I am seeking to provoke a “Metamorphosis” producing a positive result. However, I identify with the insect Gregor, in that I awoke one morning transformed into something that, by way of my plight, I would never attain my designated purpose.

Like Gregor my energy is slowly fading and efforts to recapture the vision of my life purpose fades as well. My work is not yet done. I fear that my energy will fail to allow me the opportunity to do that which I love.

What is your point? I digress. My life work is fading under the desire to sit and stare at a window displaying for me trees, grass, and critters. All of whom remind me that I should do without question what is placed before me to do. Yet, I desire not to do anything at all. Perhaps if the yoke were lifted, I would run from the house with my gift and begin to do my lifework, but alas, the yoke is there and the commitment to carry it is real. You see I now need and desire the yoke and would perish without it, though it weighs me down, it also sustains me. So, I have chosen my life over the work of helping others to remember. The yoke is my life and to shed it would be to die.

This is your lesson in survival!

Cassandra M. Dougherty


© Sand Dance

This day the beautiful brown bird recognizes her wings and begins the practice of flight.

The dancer is a woman in her power time.

“Never before have been so willing to die”

Let me redress that line in her song She says “Willing to die” Not saying such active words as

“take my life”

Rather she speaks passive She speaks of acceptance She speaks towards death She speaks not resisting death

The knowing has begun And so

“Never before have been so willing to die My spirit grows far beyond this human Smiling Eagle Free as the Powerful wings the sky”

As she dances the dance of the great bird she knows that she is a woman for she feels the sand give way under her feet.

She lifts her feather spirit then knowing that there is not true balance in the mortal condition.

Hands above her head Fingers splayed Face to the sky Pointing her Aiming her spirit to infinity

“Never before have been so willing to die My spirit grows far beyond this human Smiling Eagle Free as the Powerful wings the sky Never before have been so willing to die”

As the knowing frees She becomes different Ready to leave And on this day she is the brown bird Spinning in the sand Her arms become feathers She is now moved by the wind Looking down only for a moment at the thousands of grains and the many sand-bound dancers flailing featherless limbs she quickens yet and singes still sweeter

“Never before have been so willing to die My spirit grows far beyond this human (striving more) Smiling Eagle Free as the Powerful wings the sky Dark slips from my feathers. Light moves through my eyes Never before have been so willing to die

Cassandra M. Dougherty


 

© Survival

To: The small place within me that holds my mind together.

Poetry is
what
madmen
with a strong will
to live
do!

Cassandra M. Dougherty


© Kitaro’s Eyes

I looked at Kitaro’s beautiful smiling eyes
Saw the reflection of his music
A still life of the uncontainable bliss
Wished that my eyes could smile like his

Realizing I could only recognize
what I had experienced
My music played
My eyes smiled

Cassandra M. Dougherty


© A Thing To Say Before Dying

Be Drunk!

Drink before the soul is eaten away by the thing within you!

Cassandra M. Dougherty


 

© I Dream

For  Godfrey Alleyne Jr.

I Dream
A soulless cash dispenser
Issuing materials and service
my only purpose
Then you cared
Held a mirror to my face
My heart began to beat again
I began to remember my dreams

Cassandra Dougherty 12/19/2009


© Slam Love

Slam Poetry or Slam Dance?
No!
What I want is to slam Love
I want to quite my “job” and take Love on the road
Put it in your face till you shake
Put it all over you and inside
Peel open hearts, pry open arms, force feed Love to you and you
You, the Love ignorant, issue clutching, starved souls
What I want it to Slam a mirror in your imperfect faces
Hug the spiritual stinginess out
Till all you can see
Is the beauty in yourself and in others
Slam!  You are Love!
Tear down your judgment smeared walls that keep you in
Slam!
Replace your fear and pride with tolerance of differences
Slam!
Replace your false authority to judge with
forgiving memories of your own ignorant errors
Slam Love on you and you
Slam myself against you till you respect Love!
Slam and slam and slam till you recall how much God has loved imperfect you!

Slam Love Slam!

Cassandra Alleyne 12/18/99


© How My Soul Longs For Pineappleweed

I want the “pineappleweed” from Grotton.  To cultivate it here,
where I live

Pinch the yellow blooms between my fingers
rub it on my hands and face
Then sniff the impostor’s renderings in my pours

I want to smell 4:00 a.m.
succulent under my bare feet
hear a silence that remains
undisturbed for miles
trees manure Honeysuckle
sweet grass and still atmosphere
concoct a breakfast for the soul
gentle imperceptible
shift of the air
makes silence more alluring
than death

This silence
broken only
by the gentle steady voice of
one
who understands

Understands nature
understands rain
understands stewards
understands silence and Pinappleweed

This is all I need to live
all I need
to die
this and Pinappleweed

Cassandra Alleyne  October ‎22, ‎2000


© Romantic Horses

For:  Nicholas & Garth (AIMH)

Romantic horses
Nuzzle my shoulders
Gentle motions press me
Between their heads

Always their higher than human
Sincerity locks their eyes to mine
They tell me that they don’t
Long for me, need for me, mourn for me

They tell me instead that they
Only and purely love me
Love not speaking to the body
Only as speaking through it

Holding me with their heads
Kissing me with their eyes
Healing me with their souls
A warmth flowing from them
Through me to them till I
Am filled and trembling

I sit fixed in the calm
Of their eyes forever
I live nurtured by their stare
Finally I fall limp and sleep
In their comforting gaze

Opening to each other
Loving beings enter with calm
Where no humans have had the
Strength and respect to approach
Eye to eye they transform me

Changing me from human to spirit
Reminding me of what it is like
To be a child that accepts
Without questioning what is given
Two romantic horses
Moving me closer to God

Cassandra M. Alleyne  January 16, 1993


© Moving Out

When I bought this house, I did not cover the windows.
The outside was inside and the inside was outside.
The deer could look in at me and I could look out at them.
I kept the windows open in the summer, winter, spring, and fall.

Then my life partner joined me and we put blinds on the windows.
Then we closed the windows in the summer, winter, spring, and fall.
Then we put curtains on the windows.
Then we closed the blinds.
Then we closed the curtains

We use lamps to light the inside of the house and we do not look outside at the deer and the deer do not look inside at us.  We are safe from something and something is safe from us.

Today we put a screen and glass enclosure on the front and the back of the house.
Today, I have windows with no blinds and no curtains.  I have moved my laundry, my ironing board, my chair, stool, radio, and my laptop out to the back enclosure.  I can see the deer and the deer can see me.  Tomorrow, I will move my bed, my dresser, my desk, and my bathroom sink.

Cassandra M. Alleyne  10/19/2003

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